How to stop comparing yourself to others

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If you compared your weaknesses, to other peoples strengths, how do you think you’d feel? Not great, right.

Well, this is what a lot of us do, it doesn’t have to be that regularly, but some of us do it nearly every day.

I’ll be honest, I compare myself to others quite regularly. But I realise that it isn’t healthy and have cut down on how much I do compare. My whole family knows I’ve compared myself to my brother in terms of education and that’s why I’m motivated to graduate with a first to be better than him. And in this instance, it’s healthy-ish because I’m comparing to improve myself. But still, I shouldn’t compare.

Yet, if you compare yourself to someone else. Focusing on how you could be better, be more like them. Then you are in the right place. It is really not good for you and your mental health.

We are all unique, and comparing to one another is not realistic. It’s like comparing a car with round wheels and a car with square wheels and seeing who will go the furthest. Obviously, the car which was made with the right parts necessary for the job. But the other car might be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen it just can’t drive.

comparing-yourself

So why should you stop comparing yourself?

You have nothing to gain from it.

You should really spend this time improving yourself, focusing on your own weaknesses and how to improve. Rather than looking at others and idolising their skills and features.

You are focusing on the wrong person.

Rather than spending time focusing on the only person, you can change, yourself. You are spending time comparing yourself to others and their lives.

It’s unfair.

When have you really compared yourself and gave praise, we always concentrate on the worst. Even with the instance of my brother, I’m putting additional stress on myself to be better.

How can you stop comparing yourself?

Remeber nobody is perfect.

Recognise that what you are going through others are too. Nobody is living their ideal life, we are all striving to improve and for better things. Comparing to someone who you think has a perfect life is unrealistic and sometimes unachievable. Focus on your own obstacles and path.

Express Gratitude. 

Being grateful for the things you’ve achieved also means you’re acknowledging your strengths. You are not being vain by expressing gratitude. You are only giving yourself a chance to appreciate yourself. There are ways you can express gratitude, such as spending 5 minutes when you wake up to talk to yourself or to write down your successes in a journal.

Become aware.

You might not know you are comparing yourself to others as it has become second nature. We are so unaware of us doing it but are aware of the feelings we are left with. So for the next week focus in on the moments you compare, look out for them. You will realise how often you do and will be able to resist. You’ll then find yourself realising every moment you start to compare and will be able to stop it.

Life is a journey.

We aren’t meant to be competing with one another. We are meant to explore our own journeys. Figure out what we are here to do and become brilliant at it. Whether that is to sing, to become a parent, to love or to manage. There is something special that each and every one of us is meant to do. And that means other people should not affect our own journey and how we view ourselves. Their strengths are brilliant for their journey but might not be amazing for yours. So don’t focus on them. Concentrate on your own journey.

How do you overcome comparing yourself to others? Do you think you still compare yourself? Let me know in the comments below.

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